June 15, 2010
There comes a time...
There comes a time in your life when you begin to feel like nothing is going your way. You have nothing in your favor and every time you start to pick yourself back up some douche bag comes along kicks dirt in your face steps on your toes and pushes you back down. It starts to get to the point where you feel as though there is no use in getting up anymore, why not just stay down?People can tell you how much all this struggle will make you better and stronger in the end, yet you still feel alone like NO ONE could EVER be feeling the same as you are at that moment your moment of rock bottom. Looking in all the wrong places for some kind of answer a solution to all your trouble or even just a person who can take all the hurt and pain away. Yet at the end of your day you still have the void of un-fulfillment and the depressing presence of loneliness. I am at that point.I guess all that is left to do is to hold on to the good in life,smile along the way to help get through the day,and remember that everything happens for a reason even though the reasons are unclear at the moment,one day I'll grow to understand that loud resounding question WHY?...Pray everyday for better and remember that God's plan doesn't always match my own desires and all will fall into place as it should at exactly the right time.
When a Heart Breaks
When a heart breaks it makes no sound
Only silent tears hit the ground
A blanket,a pillow,and an empty bed
As the feeling of loneliness begins to spread
Another night with no one there to make it better
Just resentment,frustration,and a letter
Loved unconditionally never ashamed of
But it was time to overcome a lost love
Not lost by death,tragedy,or regret
Always meant to be something to forget
Doomed at the beginning from the very start
Now left drowning in tears and dying of a broken heart
Only silent tears hit the ground
A blanket,a pillow,and an empty bed
As the feeling of loneliness begins to spread
Another night with no one there to make it better
Just resentment,frustration,and a letter
Loved unconditionally never ashamed of
But it was time to overcome a lost love
Not lost by death,tragedy,or regret
Always meant to be something to forget
Doomed at the beginning from the very start
Now left drowning in tears and dying of a broken heart
June 2, 2010
there
well there are all my poems so far im sure ill b writing plenty more in the days to come but im all blogged out for the day i do however already have a good blog story in mind for 2mrw
I shoulda but I didn't
I should have never givin you my heart.
We should have never fallen apart.
I should have said,"I Love You".
We should have never become 1, we should have stayed 2.
I should have never cryed.
We should have never tryed.
I should have never kissed your lips with mine.
We should have never wasted our time.
But I did give you my heart,
And now we have fallen apart.
I did say, "i Love You",
And now we no longer are 1 but a seperate 2.
I did cry,
And now we don't even try.
I did kiss your lips with mine,
And now we've wasted our time.
My heart could never heal,
But I WILL get over it cause you're no big deal!
My tears could drown my happiness and joy,
But I WILL realize I need a man and you are simply a boy!
My pain and depression could overtake my soul,
But I WILL keep a smile and soon once again be whole!
My fear could prevent me from ever loving again,
And thanks to you from now on all anyone could be is JUST A FRIEND!
We should have never fallen apart.
I should have said,"I Love You".
We should have never become 1, we should have stayed 2.
I should have never cryed.
We should have never tryed.
I should have never kissed your lips with mine.
We should have never wasted our time.
But I did give you my heart,
And now we have fallen apart.
I did say, "i Love You",
And now we no longer are 1 but a seperate 2.
I did cry,
And now we don't even try.
I did kiss your lips with mine,
And now we've wasted our time.
My heart could never heal,
But I WILL get over it cause you're no big deal!
My tears could drown my happiness and joy,
But I WILL realize I need a man and you are simply a boy!
My pain and depression could overtake my soul,
But I WILL keep a smile and soon once again be whole!
My fear could prevent me from ever loving again,
And thanks to you from now on all anyone could be is JUST A FRIEND!
June 1, 2010
Runaway With Me
Runaway with me because without you life is too hard.
I dont know why I can't tell you, I can't let down my guard.
Runaway with me our distance is too far apart.
I miss you so much, so sick is my heart.
Runaway with me, take my hand.
I love you so much you just don't understand.
Runaway with me and we can leave all our troubles behind.
The words i need to tell you I can't seem to find.
Runaway with me and we can have forever.
But to tell you I love you, that would be never.
Runaway with me lets just get away.
I wish with me you could stay.
Would you runaway we me?
I dont know why I can't tell you, I can't let down my guard.
Runaway with me our distance is too far apart.
I miss you so much, so sick is my heart.
Runaway with me, take my hand.
I love you so much you just don't understand.
Runaway with me and we can leave all our troubles behind.
The words i need to tell you I can't seem to find.
Runaway with me and we can have forever.
But to tell you I love you, that would be never.
Runaway with me lets just get away.
I wish with me you could stay.
Would you runaway we me?
lost in myself
The darkness is beginin to over shadow the light
Each day I've wasted until it had turned into night
The battle between good and evil is no longer a fight
The person i once was is fading from sight
I want her back but she won't seem to come
This person i've let take over has made me numb
Who is this new person i've become
To let her take over me i must have been dumb
Hiding somewhere inside of me for so long
She let herself out she found her rythem she found her song
But here she is not wanted she does not belong
The feeling inside is all so wrong
Fading away in the darkness i am almost gone
God please help me find myself before all of me has gone
Each day I've wasted until it had turned into night
The battle between good and evil is no longer a fight
The person i once was is fading from sight
I want her back but she won't seem to come
This person i've let take over has made me numb
Who is this new person i've become
To let her take over me i must have been dumb
Hiding somewhere inside of me for so long
She let herself out she found her rythem she found her song
But here she is not wanted she does not belong
The feeling inside is all so wrong
Fading away in the darkness i am almost gone
God please help me find myself before all of me has gone
Yes I will...
Yes I've always loved you,and Yes I always will
But our journey has ended and now i must heal
One day you'll realize you loved me,but by then I'll probably be gone
So I'm tryina to forget and I am trying to move on
You took me for granted like i would be around forever
But life's too short to wait so me and you will happen never
Yes I will always wonder,and Yes I will miss you
When i was with you my number of breaths were few
But when you would hold my hand gone are those days
And figuring you out is like a solutionless maze
I may have givin you mixed signals, so you never took the right turn
I'm done waitin in the fire while you just watch me burn
No I won't cry, No I won't put up a fight
Cause you've left me in the dark, it is always night
I'm done dealin with your emotins i've got my own to bear
It seems that if it's not about you you couldn't care
A kiss means nothing to me anymore
You've walked outta my life but don't try n turn around cause I've loked the DOOR!
But our journey has ended and now i must heal
One day you'll realize you loved me,but by then I'll probably be gone
So I'm tryina to forget and I am trying to move on
You took me for granted like i would be around forever
But life's too short to wait so me and you will happen never
Yes I will always wonder,and Yes I will miss you
When i was with you my number of breaths were few
But when you would hold my hand gone are those days
And figuring you out is like a solutionless maze
I may have givin you mixed signals, so you never took the right turn
I'm done waitin in the fire while you just watch me burn
No I won't cry, No I won't put up a fight
Cause you've left me in the dark, it is always night
I'm done dealin with your emotins i've got my own to bear
It seems that if it's not about you you couldn't care
A kiss means nothing to me anymore
You've walked outta my life but don't try n turn around cause I've loked the DOOR!
Miss...Love...Hate...Thought
I MISS your smile,
I MISS your laugh
I MISS hearin your voice,
I MISS holdin your hand
I MISS the butterflies you gave me,
I MISS the feelings i used to get
I LOVE your dorky side,
I LOVE your goofy lil walk
I LOVE the little freckle on your bottom lip,
I LOVE talkin to you even if it's just for 5 mins.
I LOVE when you call back more than once,
I LOVE thinking that sometimes you really do care
I HATE how you got me like this,
I HATE that I care
I HATE how you make me weak,
I HATE that you can make me cry
I HATE that I can't move on,
I HATE that I can't say good-bye
I THOUGHT I'd get over it,
I THOUGHT I couldn't cry
I THOUGHT you'd come back,
I THOUGHT it'd happen like it did before
I THOUGHT I might still have a chance,
I THOUGHT you could still care
I MISSed the chance to say
I LOVE you
I HATE that I didn't tell you
I THOUGHT I could handle it...I must have
MISSed the memo saying you didn't care...I had it in my mind that you
LOVEd me too and
I HATE to admit...
I THOUGHT wrong!!!!
I MISS your laugh
I MISS hearin your voice,
I MISS holdin your hand
I MISS the butterflies you gave me,
I MISS the feelings i used to get
I LOVE your dorky side,
I LOVE your goofy lil walk
I LOVE the little freckle on your bottom lip,
I LOVE talkin to you even if it's just for 5 mins.
I LOVE when you call back more than once,
I LOVE thinking that sometimes you really do care
I HATE how you got me like this,
I HATE that I care
I HATE how you make me weak,
I HATE that you can make me cry
I HATE that I can't move on,
I HATE that I can't say good-bye
I THOUGHT I'd get over it,
I THOUGHT I couldn't cry
I THOUGHT you'd come back,
I THOUGHT it'd happen like it did before
I THOUGHT I might still have a chance,
I THOUGHT you could still care
I MISSed the chance to say
I LOVE you
I HATE that I didn't tell you
I THOUGHT I could handle it...I must have
MISSed the memo saying you didn't care...I had it in my mind that you
LOVEd me too and
I HATE to admit...
I THOUGHT wrong!!!!
Dead Among Us
When the sun no longer shines...
The rain begins to pour...
Trying to face your fears...
But they're so much stronger than before...
The lighting sends a deceiving glimmer of light...
Hidden by the rain your tears begin to fall...
As the thunder cackles at your anxiety...
You try to run from it all..
Looking back to a mountain of troubles...
It all begins to avalanche towards you...
With no escape from the weight of the world at your feet...
Sharp pain chaces through your body as the cold turns your finger blue...
Laying on the cold gravel with nowhere to turn...
Looking towards heaven for miracle to be on your side...
Your eyes shut as you take the last breath..
And with a new breath your outside lived they day your inside died...
The rain begins to pour...
Trying to face your fears...
But they're so much stronger than before...
The lighting sends a deceiving glimmer of light...
Hidden by the rain your tears begin to fall...
As the thunder cackles at your anxiety...
You try to run from it all..
Looking back to a mountain of troubles...
It all begins to avalanche towards you...
With no escape from the weight of the world at your feet...
Sharp pain chaces through your body as the cold turns your finger blue...
Laying on the cold gravel with nowhere to turn...
Looking towards heaven for miracle to be on your side...
Your eyes shut as you take the last breath..
And with a new breath your outside lived they day your inside died...
Feel NOMORE
Ripped out my heart and threw it away
So these feelings I have could no longer stay
Heartless once again
Mad I let you in
The rain falls on my eyes, for i can no longer cry
Fell for you and belived your lie
Thought my everything you could be
Fell and you never caught me
Layin on the ground shivering cold
Thinking bout everything I was told
I know the truth now so you can stop lieing
It hurts but you'll NEVER catch me crying
In the dessert the lightning strikes but the rain doesn't fall
I'll get myself through this drought even if I have to crawl
Don't need your hand so don't even bother offering it
Can't follow through...Can't committ
FUCK IT...I QUIT!!!!!!!!!!!
So these feelings I have could no longer stay
Heartless once again
Mad I let you in
The rain falls on my eyes, for i can no longer cry
Fell for you and belived your lie
Thought my everything you could be
Fell and you never caught me
Layin on the ground shivering cold
Thinking bout everything I was told
I know the truth now so you can stop lieing
It hurts but you'll NEVER catch me crying
In the dessert the lightning strikes but the rain doesn't fall
I'll get myself through this drought even if I have to crawl
Don't need your hand so don't even bother offering it
Can't follow through...Can't committ
FUCK IT...I QUIT!!!!!!!!!!!
Learning Everyday
Working with kids, I learn alot...
Yesterday this little boy came to me in tears
Barely able to speak as I squatted down I asked him what was wrong
Tryin to understand what he was trying to say through his tears
He told me he couldnt find his card...
A simple little card the kids had received at an assembly earlier that day
I reassured him that his life would not end and that after snack we would come back and look for it.
No more then 2 mins later he had stopped crying and forgotten all about the "importance" of this card
And after snck he had completley forgotten about it.
When I saw him crying and found out what he was crying about
I thought he was crying over nothing...
But at the time to him it was the end of the world that card meant eveything to him
I sat back and thought I wonder if this is how i seem to others
When I cry is it worth my tears or am I getting all worked up over nothing????
When I am older will i look back and say how little these things were and how worried I was about all the wrong things
It is easy for us to see when someone else is cryin over nothing and we tell them "You'll get through this" "It's going to get better"
But when we are going through things it is hard to see how small it really is and that tomarrow will come and time Waits for NO man
Instead of crying over our "lost cards"we should remember that there is always that person willing to help you come back and find it "after snack"
and we don't have to look on our own
It's not wrong to get lost
It's wrong when you don't ask for directions!
Yesterday this little boy came to me in tears
Barely able to speak as I squatted down I asked him what was wrong
Tryin to understand what he was trying to say through his tears
He told me he couldnt find his card...
A simple little card the kids had received at an assembly earlier that day
I reassured him that his life would not end and that after snack we would come back and look for it.
No more then 2 mins later he had stopped crying and forgotten all about the "importance" of this card
And after snck he had completley forgotten about it.
When I saw him crying and found out what he was crying about
I thought he was crying over nothing...
But at the time to him it was the end of the world that card meant eveything to him
I sat back and thought I wonder if this is how i seem to others
When I cry is it worth my tears or am I getting all worked up over nothing????
When I am older will i look back and say how little these things were and how worried I was about all the wrong things
It is easy for us to see when someone else is cryin over nothing and we tell them "You'll get through this" "It's going to get better"
But when we are going through things it is hard to see how small it really is and that tomarrow will come and time Waits for NO man
Instead of crying over our "lost cards"we should remember that there is always that person willing to help you come back and find it "after snack"
and we don't have to look on our own
It's not wrong to get lost
It's wrong when you don't ask for directions!
I RUFUSE
I refuse to say I LOVE YOU, even though I think I might.
I refuse to show I CARE, even though it breaks me everytime we fight
I refuse to CRY OUT LOUD, even though my heart drowns in it's tears
I refuse to HOLD ON, even though losing you is one of my greatest fears
I refuse to LET IT GET TO ME, even though everyone but you knows it does
I refuse to GIVE IN, even though you have my all and no one else does
I refuse to NOT BELIEVE, even though my intuition tells me otherwise
I refuse to TO BE HURT,cause I wont be that girl that breaks down and cries
I refuse to NOT BE TRUSTED, so STOP saying there is another
I want YOU,when will you trust there is NO other?
I refuse to show I CARE, even though it breaks me everytime we fight
I refuse to CRY OUT LOUD, even though my heart drowns in it's tears
I refuse to HOLD ON, even though losing you is one of my greatest fears
I refuse to LET IT GET TO ME, even though everyone but you knows it does
I refuse to GIVE IN, even though you have my all and no one else does
I refuse to NOT BELIEVE, even though my intuition tells me otherwise
I refuse to TO BE HURT,cause I wont be that girl that breaks down and cries
I refuse to NOT BE TRUSTED, so STOP saying there is another
I want YOU,when will you trust there is NO other?
Tell Me
Tell me it won't hurt forever
Tell me to work through the pain
Tell me to believe again...NEVER
Tell me from trusting another there's nothing to gain
Tell me forever isn't always...so DON'T trust his promise
Tell me to NEVER follow my heart again
Tell me..him..not to miss
Tell me we should have never been more than friends
Tell me that my intuition is ALWAYS right
Tell me he DOESN'T care
Tell me it was NEVER worth the fight
Tell me how life isn't EVER fair
Tell me how I was a fool
Tell me I was too blind to see
Tell me it was his game this time...I was just a tool
Tell me that he's NEVER coming back to me
But I want you to tell me I'm only dreaming..it's just a nightmare
I want you to tell me he DIDN'T mean it
I want you to tell me when he told me those things he really did care
I want you to tell me that he'd rather be with me than get lit
I want you to tell me he was always faithful
I want you to tell me he'd NEVER lie
I want you to tell me for leaving he'd be a damn FOOL
I want you to tell me it's nothing don't cry
You told me that it's over we are through
You told me it's my fault we're done
You told me all you say is true
You told me I was the only one
I tell you I want to work it out
I tell you I think I'm in love
I tell you I want to give you the benifit of the doubt
I tell you I wanna be here when push comes to shove
But you're silence speaks the most
Actions are louder than words when it's silent
You're distance keeps us from getting close
Secrets tear up the inside so violent
So I'm forced to tell you good day
I'm forced to tell you I'm letting go
I'm forced to tell you I'm must go my own way
And I'm forced to NEveR turn back I HAVE to say NO...
Tell me I made the right choice
Tell me things aren't the same why stay
Tell me they never grow up they're all just little boys
But most of all just tell me it WILL ALL be OKAY!
Tell me to work through the pain
Tell me to believe again...NEVER
Tell me from trusting another there's nothing to gain
Tell me forever isn't always...so DON'T trust his promise
Tell me to NEVER follow my heart again
Tell me..him..not to miss
Tell me we should have never been more than friends
Tell me that my intuition is ALWAYS right
Tell me he DOESN'T care
Tell me it was NEVER worth the fight
Tell me how life isn't EVER fair
Tell me how I was a fool
Tell me I was too blind to see
Tell me it was his game this time...I was just a tool
Tell me that he's NEVER coming back to me
But I want you to tell me I'm only dreaming..it's just a nightmare
I want you to tell me he DIDN'T mean it
I want you to tell me when he told me those things he really did care
I want you to tell me that he'd rather be with me than get lit
I want you to tell me he was always faithful
I want you to tell me he'd NEVER lie
I want you to tell me for leaving he'd be a damn FOOL
I want you to tell me it's nothing don't cry
You told me that it's over we are through
You told me it's my fault we're done
You told me all you say is true
You told me I was the only one
I tell you I want to work it out
I tell you I think I'm in love
I tell you I want to give you the benifit of the doubt
I tell you I wanna be here when push comes to shove
But you're silence speaks the most
Actions are louder than words when it's silent
You're distance keeps us from getting close
Secrets tear up the inside so violent
So I'm forced to tell you good day
I'm forced to tell you I'm letting go
I'm forced to tell you I'm must go my own way
And I'm forced to NEveR turn back I HAVE to say NO...
Tell me I made the right choice
Tell me things aren't the same why stay
Tell me they never grow up they're all just little boys
But most of all just tell me it WILL ALL be OKAY!
Tell Me
Tell me it won't hurt forever
Tell me to work through the pain
Tell me to believe again...NEVER
Tell me from trusting another there's nothing to gain
Tell me forever isn't always...so DON'T trust his promise
Tell me to NEVER follow my heart again
Tell me..him..not to miss
Tell me we should have never been more than friends
Tell me that my intuition is ALWAYS right
Tell me he DOESN'T care
Tell me it was NEVER worth the fight
Tell me how life isn't EVER fair
Tell me how I was a fool
Tell me I was too blind to see
Tell me it was his game this time...I was just a tool
Tell me that he's NEVER coming back to me
But I want you to tell me I'm only dreaming..it's just a nightmare
I want you to tell me he DIDN'T mean it
I want you to tell me when he told me those things he really did care
I want you to tell me that he'd rather be with me than get lit
I want you to tell me he was always faithful
I want you to tell me he'd NEVER lie
I want you to tell me for leaving he'd be a damn FOOL
I want you to tell me it's nothing don't cry
You told me that it's over we are through
You told me it's my fault we're done
You told me all you say is true
You told me I was the only one
I tell you I want to work it out
I tell you I think I'm in love
I tell you I want to give you the benifit of the doubt
I tell you I wanna be here when push comes to shove
But you're silence speaks the most
Actions are louder than words when it's silent
You're distance keeps us from getting close
Secrets tear up the inside so violent
So I'm forced to tell you good day
I'm forced to tell you I'm letting go
I'm forced to tell you I'm must go my own way
And I'm forced to NEveR turn back I HAVE to say NO...
Tell me I made the right choice
Tell me things aren't the same why stay
Tell me they never grow up they're all just little boys
But most of all just tell me it WILL ALL be OKAY!
Tell me to work through the pain
Tell me to believe again...NEVER
Tell me from trusting another there's nothing to gain
Tell me forever isn't always...so DON'T trust his promise
Tell me to NEVER follow my heart again
Tell me..him..not to miss
Tell me we should have never been more than friends
Tell me that my intuition is ALWAYS right
Tell me he DOESN'T care
Tell me it was NEVER worth the fight
Tell me how life isn't EVER fair
Tell me how I was a fool
Tell me I was too blind to see
Tell me it was his game this time...I was just a tool
Tell me that he's NEVER coming back to me
But I want you to tell me I'm only dreaming..it's just a nightmare
I want you to tell me he DIDN'T mean it
I want you to tell me when he told me those things he really did care
I want you to tell me that he'd rather be with me than get lit
I want you to tell me he was always faithful
I want you to tell me he'd NEVER lie
I want you to tell me for leaving he'd be a damn FOOL
I want you to tell me it's nothing don't cry
You told me that it's over we are through
You told me it's my fault we're done
You told me all you say is true
You told me I was the only one
I tell you I want to work it out
I tell you I think I'm in love
I tell you I want to give you the benifit of the doubt
I tell you I wanna be here when push comes to shove
But you're silence speaks the most
Actions are louder than words when it's silent
You're distance keeps us from getting close
Secrets tear up the inside so violent
So I'm forced to tell you good day
I'm forced to tell you I'm letting go
I'm forced to tell you I'm must go my own way
And I'm forced to NEveR turn back I HAVE to say NO...
Tell me I made the right choice
Tell me things aren't the same why stay
Tell me they never grow up they're all just little boys
But most of all just tell me it WILL ALL be OKAY!
LITTLE GIRL
Little girl who stole your smile, little girl who took your joy?
You gave away your innocence, you lost it all for a boy?
Little girl don't cry, little girl don't shed a tear.
Keep it all inside, learn to hide your pain and fear
Little girl you lost your passion,little girl your dreams have faded
Your spirit is tired, and your soul jaded
Little girl why did you listen, little girl why now?
You waited so long, why take a bow?
Little girl you're something different, little girl don't be like them
Don't runaway, DON'T chase after him
Little girl you don't have to grow up,little girl don't listen to what they say
They don't know who you are, find your own way
Little girl where did you go, little girl why can't I find you?
You are lost somewhere, you aren't that person I once knew
Little girl so full of life,little girl so full of love
Your heart was broken and that little girl left when push came to shove
Little girl so strong,little girl so brave
Now cold and scared,your all to him you gave
Little girl push through the struggle,little girl don't give in
But the hardest part is the battle you fight within
Little girl DOn't let her win,little girl stay strong
I want you to stay,but here you feel you no longer belong
Little girl come back,little girl i need you by my side
But you're long gone by now,can't say you never tried
So little girl i must say GOODBYE
For that poor little girl inside me has died...
You gave away your innocence, you lost it all for a boy?
Little girl don't cry, little girl don't shed a tear.
Keep it all inside, learn to hide your pain and fear
Little girl you lost your passion,little girl your dreams have faded
Your spirit is tired, and your soul jaded
Little girl why did you listen, little girl why now?
You waited so long, why take a bow?
Little girl you're something different, little girl don't be like them
Don't runaway, DON'T chase after him
Little girl you don't have to grow up,little girl don't listen to what they say
They don't know who you are, find your own way
Little girl where did you go, little girl why can't I find you?
You are lost somewhere, you aren't that person I once knew
Little girl so full of life,little girl so full of love
Your heart was broken and that little girl left when push came to shove
Little girl so strong,little girl so brave
Now cold and scared,your all to him you gave
Little girl push through the struggle,little girl don't give in
But the hardest part is the battle you fight within
Little girl DOn't let her win,little girl stay strong
I want you to stay,but here you feel you no longer belong
Little girl come back,little girl i need you by my side
But you're long gone by now,can't say you never tried
So little girl i must say GOODBYE
For that poor little girl inside me has died...
I'm sorry
I'm sorry for the things I did, but you can't take back what has already been done
I'm sorry if I wasted your time, but i always knew that I'd never be the one
I'm sorry I didn't try harder, but I was so tired of standing alone
I'm sorry I didn't listen, but the support wasn't ever shown
Friend don't look down on me, Lover don't let go
I'm sorry my life to you I wouldn't show
Girl I know I'm not the same
I'm sorry I let you down I feel so ashamed
Boy I will always in some way care about you
I'm sorry I couldn't believe you I thought it was true
Friend you always held my hand, Lover you're gone forever
I'm sorry girl that cause of boy i can't say..."I never.."
Lil man don't grow up, Lil sis don't runaway
I'm sorry i couldn't be there, I'm sorry I couldn't stay
Lil man keep your innocence keep that smile on your face
I'm sorry i'm not a good example, i'm sorry im a disgrace
Lil sis I hope you can still look up to me like you used to
I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me to
Brother don't cry out loud, Sister don't be sad
I'm sorry i'm not the sister you always thought you had
Mommy don't worry,Daddy don't be mad
I'm sorry my decisions lately have been bad
Momma I didn't wanna disappoint you
I'm sorry my life didn't turnout how we wanted it to
Daddy I'm not the lil tomboy anymore
I 'm sorry I can't talk to you like I could before
Mom I'm getting it together, Dad my life's is heading back on track
I'm sorry it took me so long to realized that your family ALWAYS takes you back
I'm sorry if I wasted your time, but i always knew that I'd never be the one
I'm sorry I didn't try harder, but I was so tired of standing alone
I'm sorry I didn't listen, but the support wasn't ever shown
Friend don't look down on me, Lover don't let go
I'm sorry my life to you I wouldn't show
Girl I know I'm not the same
I'm sorry I let you down I feel so ashamed
Boy I will always in some way care about you
I'm sorry I couldn't believe you I thought it was true
Friend you always held my hand, Lover you're gone forever
I'm sorry girl that cause of boy i can't say..."I never.."
Lil man don't grow up, Lil sis don't runaway
I'm sorry i couldn't be there, I'm sorry I couldn't stay
Lil man keep your innocence keep that smile on your face
I'm sorry i'm not a good example, i'm sorry im a disgrace
Lil sis I hope you can still look up to me like you used to
I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me to
Brother don't cry out loud, Sister don't be sad
I'm sorry i'm not the sister you always thought you had
Mommy don't worry,Daddy don't be mad
I'm sorry my decisions lately have been bad
Momma I didn't wanna disappoint you
I'm sorry my life didn't turnout how we wanted it to
Daddy I'm not the lil tomboy anymore
I 'm sorry I can't talk to you like I could before
Mom I'm getting it together, Dad my life's is heading back on track
I'm sorry it took me so long to realized that your family ALWAYS takes you back
ONLY SAVIOR
Running from the past, But its so hard to leave behind
Her Thoughts are mixed, looking for something she can't seem to find
Moving forward, but then someone pressed rewind
Same situations just a different time, should she follow her heart or follow her mind
Looking for the way back home, but her eyes are blind
Trying to walk but can't break free, these lies like rope they bind
It's so difficult to STAND when all she can do is FALL
It's hard to Walk when she can't even CRAWL
Trying to push past the things that block her path
Things crash down on her as if it was God's wrath
She doesn't want to give up but the body and mind are so weak
She's trying to look ahead but the future seems so bleak
Those around can't see her struggle
But would they even help or would it be too much trouble
She is reaching for a hand to help her through it
But no one sees cause with her pride she won't admit
She can't hide it much longer because everything's changing
Her life is a mess and for the worst rearranging
Just when being alone she thought she preferred
And in the place where she thought her tears were unheard
She lies cold and afraid
She sees where others like her have laid
And realizes she is not alone any longer
That she was sent to the bottom to rise to the top only stronger
That no man could ever save her
But that God is her ONLY SAVIOR!
Her Thoughts are mixed, looking for something she can't seem to find
Moving forward, but then someone pressed rewind
Same situations just a different time, should she follow her heart or follow her mind
Looking for the way back home, but her eyes are blind
Trying to walk but can't break free, these lies like rope they bind
It's so difficult to STAND when all she can do is FALL
It's hard to Walk when she can't even CRAWL
Trying to push past the things that block her path
Things crash down on her as if it was God's wrath
She doesn't want to give up but the body and mind are so weak
She's trying to look ahead but the future seems so bleak
Those around can't see her struggle
But would they even help or would it be too much trouble
She is reaching for a hand to help her through it
But no one sees cause with her pride she won't admit
She can't hide it much longer because everything's changing
Her life is a mess and for the worst rearranging
Just when being alone she thought she preferred
And in the place where she thought her tears were unheard
She lies cold and afraid
She sees where others like her have laid
And realizes she is not alone any longer
That she was sent to the bottom to rise to the top only stronger
That no man could ever save her
But that God is her ONLY SAVIOR!
Love is like a fair ride
My whole life I've been deathly afraid of roller coasters,
But this year @ the fair I finally decided to get on the rides,
Some of them made me sick, some were painful, some made me cry, while others I actually enjoyed..
and at the end of the day no matter how I felt about each ride I could at least say that I tried them all and experience the affect each one bestowed upon me.
I had to experience what I hate, to discovery what I loved...
Finding someone in life is the same...
You always go into it scared and cautiously
you go through pain so you can appreciate the laughter
Endure the tears to find the smile
Feel the bad to know when its genuinely good
And you have to find what you hate to know they're the one you love
But this year @ the fair I finally decided to get on the rides,
Some of them made me sick, some were painful, some made me cry, while others I actually enjoyed..
and at the end of the day no matter how I felt about each ride I could at least say that I tried them all and experience the affect each one bestowed upon me.
I had to experience what I hate, to discovery what I loved...
Finding someone in life is the same...
You always go into it scared and cautiously
you go through pain so you can appreciate the laughter
Endure the tears to find the smile
Feel the bad to know when its genuinely good
And you have to find what you hate to know they're the one you love
Sleeping With a Stranger
Eyes shut, but mind so open
Praying and wishing, maybe just hopin'
Always laughing, but always mopin'
If I don't deserve it, why am I copin'
Things running through my mind
A reason to stay is what I must find
Trying to look deeper, but you've made me blind
You make my head spin and my thoughts wind
Do I really know who you are?
Laying right next to me yet you're so distant, so far
You're dark, secretive and you stick like tar
It's always a hit and miss and im 20 over par
You're so closed off, tell me what you've seen and where you've been
You are my weakness, you are my sin
In every fight, right or wrong, I can NEVER win
I want to love you but you won't let me in
Feels like im sleeping with a stranger,I don't know you
Can't decide if you don't care or do
Always about the promises,but you NEVER follow through
Is it really just me or are there others too?
With you it's always a game,but there is no rule
I feel used,I was simply a tool
Always been a smart girl but you've made me a fool
The silent tears I cry fall to the floor and form a pool
Tell the truth, there's no need to lie or pretEND
Always a guilty conscience always with a reason for you to defEND
My heart I gave you I didn't just lEND
You're so stubborn I always break and bEND
I wish you could get the signal that im trying to sEND
Are you here to break me?,or help me mEND
I want more than just a lover, I want a friEND
But every word every sentence every story has an END
Praying and wishing, maybe just hopin'
Always laughing, but always mopin'
If I don't deserve it, why am I copin'
Things running through my mind
A reason to stay is what I must find
Trying to look deeper, but you've made me blind
You make my head spin and my thoughts wind
Do I really know who you are?
Laying right next to me yet you're so distant, so far
You're dark, secretive and you stick like tar
It's always a hit and miss and im 20 over par
You're so closed off, tell me what you've seen and where you've been
You are my weakness, you are my sin
In every fight, right or wrong, I can NEVER win
I want to love you but you won't let me in
Feels like im sleeping with a stranger,I don't know you
Can't decide if you don't care or do
Always about the promises,but you NEVER follow through
Is it really just me or are there others too?
With you it's always a game,but there is no rule
I feel used,I was simply a tool
Always been a smart girl but you've made me a fool
The silent tears I cry fall to the floor and form a pool
Tell the truth, there's no need to lie or pretEND
Always a guilty conscience always with a reason for you to defEND
My heart I gave you I didn't just lEND
You're so stubborn I always break and bEND
I wish you could get the signal that im trying to sEND
Are you here to break me?,or help me mEND
I want more than just a lover, I want a friEND
But every word every sentence every story has an END
musta forgotten
You musta forgotten about me,
So you hardly ever call.
The thought of you forgetting,
Makes my eyes water and tears fall.
You musta forgotten what it felt like,
To kiss me so softly each night.
But the laughter has been forgotten,
And now all we do is fight.
You musta forgotten how different I am,
So you jepordize losing me forever.
Forgetting that I said I'd leave,
But you laughed and said I'd NEVER.
You musta forgotten that I'm a smart girl,
Cause you're trying to play me like a fool.
You've forgotten I am the exception,
So instead you treat me like the rule.
You musta forgotten you're coming back,
So you act as if you're not.
You forgot I wasn't stupid,
And swore you wouldn't get caught.
I musta forgotten you're NOT my boyfriend,
And so my6 emotions took hold.
Forgot you wanted that certain wifey,
And I just dont fit that mold.
I musta forgotten that you didn't want me,
And so I fell hard.
Forgot that you were just like them,
And naievely let down my guard.
I musta forgotten that you're not from here,
And one day I'll be forced to say good-bye.
Forgot you said you'd come with me,
Then remembered it was probably just another lie.
You wanted things to be like before,
Like nothing ever went wrong.
Like she was the verse and I was the chorus,
And this was just your love song.
You musta forgotten all that we'd been through,
And yet still I stayed.
Forgot you didn't care bout all that,
And so I remain played.
So when I see your face,
I will forget I ever knew you,
And the words will form out of my mouth saying...
SORRY I MUSTA FORGOT!
So you hardly ever call.
The thought of you forgetting,
Makes my eyes water and tears fall.
You musta forgotten what it felt like,
To kiss me so softly each night.
But the laughter has been forgotten,
And now all we do is fight.
You musta forgotten how different I am,
So you jepordize losing me forever.
Forgetting that I said I'd leave,
But you laughed and said I'd NEVER.
You musta forgotten that I'm a smart girl,
Cause you're trying to play me like a fool.
You've forgotten I am the exception,
So instead you treat me like the rule.
You musta forgotten you're coming back,
So you act as if you're not.
You forgot I wasn't stupid,
And swore you wouldn't get caught.
I musta forgotten you're NOT my boyfriend,
And so my6 emotions took hold.
Forgot you wanted that certain wifey,
And I just dont fit that mold.
I musta forgotten that you didn't want me,
And so I fell hard.
Forgot that you were just like them,
And naievely let down my guard.
I musta forgotten that you're not from here,
And one day I'll be forced to say good-bye.
Forgot you said you'd come with me,
Then remembered it was probably just another lie.
You wanted things to be like before,
Like nothing ever went wrong.
Like she was the verse and I was the chorus,
And this was just your love song.
You musta forgotten all that we'd been through,
And yet still I stayed.
Forgot you didn't care bout all that,
And so I remain played.
So when I see your face,
I will forget I ever knew you,
And the words will form out of my mouth saying...
SORRY I MUSTA FORGOT!
REALIZE
Her heart was sick, Her mind became weak
For something to fill her void She began to seek
She looked to him, Hoping he'd heal her heart
But he couldn't, Instead he slowly tore her apart
Never had she felt so alone
Wanting comfort, But finding no home
Things changed, She was different
Her laughter gone, Her smile bent
Couldn't remember joy, It had been sad so long
Never could make it right, It always went wrong
Lost without any way to return
Instead of helping, He watched the fire burn
Left with nothing, And trying to get past
What hurt her inside, Killed her so fast
Trying to rise up, But always kicked back down
Reaching for a hand, But no one seemed to be around
She laid there in her despare
Waiting for someone to care
Then a glimpse of light was shown
Help had ALWAYS been there, She shouldv'e known
She had been looking in the wrong place
But now she seen a familiar face
And she realized, She NEVER needed a man
Her FRIENDS and FAMILY were ALWAYS that helping hand!
For something to fill her void She began to seek
She looked to him, Hoping he'd heal her heart
But he couldn't, Instead he slowly tore her apart
Never had she felt so alone
Wanting comfort, But finding no home
Things changed, She was different
Her laughter gone, Her smile bent
Couldn't remember joy, It had been sad so long
Never could make it right, It always went wrong
Lost without any way to return
Instead of helping, He watched the fire burn
Left with nothing, And trying to get past
What hurt her inside, Killed her so fast
Trying to rise up, But always kicked back down
Reaching for a hand, But no one seemed to be around
She laid there in her despare
Waiting for someone to care
Then a glimpse of light was shown
Help had ALWAYS been there, She shouldv'e known
She had been looking in the wrong place
But now she seen a familiar face
And she realized, She NEVER needed a man
Her FRIENDS and FAMILY were ALWAYS that helping hand!
She Was a Dreamer and He Was a Realist...
Hidden by her laughter and smile,
She masked what bothered her most.
Never had a chance cause he couldnt ignore the fact,
He was from the east and she was in the west coast.
She was a dreamer,
He claimed he was a realist.
She always tried her hardest,
She loved him fearless.
She'd give him the world if she could,
But at the time she gave all she had...her love.
May not have been the prettiest,
But when they laid next to each other they fit like hand and glove.
She never asked him for much,
"All I need is time,"she pleaded every night
He never took her seriously,
He answered her,"Maybe, maybe, maybe i might."
And there she would wait hour by hour,
Til she realized the doorway was empty and full of disappointment.
Yet still she would wait the next night,
But instead he would promise things he never meant.
She decided it had been long enough,
It was time for things to change.
She tried to leave,
But he knew all he had to do was show up for things to rearrange.
So that he did,
And back she was.
Each day she would wonder,
Is there a motive behind everything he does?
He made her believe
That there was hope for a future.
But did he ever intend
To make her HIS future?
And she remember then that,
She was a dreamer...and he was a realist.
She masked what bothered her most.
Never had a chance cause he couldnt ignore the fact,
He was from the east and she was in the west coast.
She was a dreamer,
He claimed he was a realist.
She always tried her hardest,
She loved him fearless.
She'd give him the world if she could,
But at the time she gave all she had...her love.
May not have been the prettiest,
But when they laid next to each other they fit like hand and glove.
She never asked him for much,
"All I need is time,"she pleaded every night
He never took her seriously,
He answered her,"Maybe, maybe, maybe i might."
And there she would wait hour by hour,
Til she realized the doorway was empty and full of disappointment.
Yet still she would wait the next night,
But instead he would promise things he never meant.
She decided it had been long enough,
It was time for things to change.
She tried to leave,
But he knew all he had to do was show up for things to rearrange.
So that he did,
And back she was.
Each day she would wonder,
Is there a motive behind everything he does?
He made her believe
That there was hope for a future.
But did he ever intend
To make her HIS future?
And she remember then that,
She was a dreamer...and he was a realist.
Sick and Tired
Sick of Dissapointment
Sick of Rejection
Sick of being Patient
Sick of Frustrastion
Tired of the Maybes
Tired of the What Ifs
Tired of Wishing
Tired of Dreaming
Longing for Love
Longing for Peace
Longing for Restoration
Loning for Comfort
Waiting for the Chance
Waiting for a Breakthrough
Waiting for a Change
Waiting for an Answer
Still Questioning
Still Lonely
Still Dissapointed
Still Sick and Tired of Longing and Waiting!!!!
Sick of Rejection
Sick of being Patient
Sick of Frustrastion
Tired of the Maybes
Tired of the What Ifs
Tired of Wishing
Tired of Dreaming
Longing for Love
Longing for Peace
Longing for Restoration
Loning for Comfort
Waiting for the Chance
Waiting for a Breakthrough
Waiting for a Change
Waiting for an Answer
Still Questioning
Still Lonely
Still Dissapointed
Still Sick and Tired of Longing and Waiting!!!!
Their Own Little Bad Romance
Crying as they walked to the end of their journey hand in hand,
Never wanting the night to be over as their tears fell to the sand.
A love that never had a chance
Their own little bad romance
Though she fought for him til the very end
She knew from the begining she could never win
Her fight seemed endless
She grew so restless
Never had she loved someone so much
Her heart melted with every little touch
But he did not love her alone
So his heart was set on roam
So she was left with questions unanswered
He knew she would stay cause he had her
But their time was consumed by another
So her he always had to cover
He claimed they were friends and she was not a lover
So she grew tired of the same position
To go through this again her heart was in no conditon
She told him she will not be last again
If he so chose this their end came then
For a glimpse of time they had what she wanted
But his choice came back and that's what he wanted
So now their love must be let go
She couldn't win no matter how much love to him she would show
As they reached their parting place
She gently wiped the tears fallin down his face
She said I know you'll be a great man
He replied you'll be a great wife, you are already a great woman
They looked into each others eyes
Both knowing their end was no suprise
She wanted it to be different for them this time around
He knew things should be different and they stood there making no sound
She couldn't say good-bye
All they could do was cry
They split paths and walked away
She ran cause she wanted to stay
They didn't look back it had to be in the past
Everything crumbled so fast
But she couldn't let go yet it was too soon
She called him as soon as she got to the room
She knew this was their last night
So they didn't speak, they didn't fight
She fought her sleep trying to stay awake
But her sleepyness started to overtake
So there they slept
Eyes wet from were they wept
As the night grew darker, their sleep got stronger
And their love alience was no longer
THEY SAID...
They said he wasn't worth it, He's just a waste of time
Maybe I should have listed, And maybe I'd be just fine
They said he doesn't listen, He really doesn't care
Maybe if he would have heard me, Then maybe he'd be there
They said move on, You are so much better than this
Maybe they are right, And him i should not miss
They said he is not right, He doesn't deserve you
Maybe he's all wrong, And I shouldn't settle being number two
They said you are fighting to lose, She has already won
Maybe I can't win, Maybe we are done
But everything THEY SAID
Doesn't seem to catch in my head
So here we run in circles, playing our endless game
I wish I could listen and just forget everything about you...
EVERYTHING
EVERYTHING
EVERYTHINg
Even your NAME
Maybe I should have listed, And maybe I'd be just fine
They said he doesn't listen, He really doesn't care
Maybe if he would have heard me, Then maybe he'd be there
They said move on, You are so much better than this
Maybe they are right, And him i should not miss
They said he is not right, He doesn't deserve you
Maybe he's all wrong, And I shouldn't settle being number two
They said you are fighting to lose, She has already won
Maybe I can't win, Maybe we are done
But everything THEY SAID
Doesn't seem to catch in my head
So here we run in circles, playing our endless game
I wish I could listen and just forget everything about you...
EVERYTHING
EVERYTHING
EVERYTHINg
Even your NAME
Untitled
She sits and wonders why she cries alone
She sits and wonders why with her he never feels at home
She sits and wonders when will it get better
She sits and wonders why her tears only get wetter
She sits and wonders if he'll ever realize she is wonderful
She sits and wonders if to him she is ever beautiful
She sits and wonders why he makes excuses
She sits and wonders why she deals with the emotional bruises
She sits and wonders if she is wasting her time
She sits and wonders will he ever be only mine
So she says she's leaving, But never she can
So she says it's time to choose, But he'll never be her man
So she says tell me to leave then, But he says that not what he wants
So she says just give me my time, But he only teases and taunts
She tells herself don't give in it's time to move on
She tells herself things will get better just hold on
She tells herself things will never be different why should I stay
She tells herself in time things will fix and it'll all be okay
She fights herself for he never fights for her to stick around
She fell for him and he just let her hit the ground
She fights for him but he cant ever understand
She Needs a friend not just a man!
She sits and wonders why with her he never feels at home
She sits and wonders when will it get better
She sits and wonders why her tears only get wetter
She sits and wonders if he'll ever realize she is wonderful
She sits and wonders if to him she is ever beautiful
She sits and wonders why he makes excuses
She sits and wonders why she deals with the emotional bruises
She sits and wonders if she is wasting her time
She sits and wonders will he ever be only mine
So she says she's leaving, But never she can
So she says it's time to choose, But he'll never be her man
So she says tell me to leave then, But he says that not what he wants
So she says just give me my time, But he only teases and taunts
She tells herself don't give in it's time to move on
She tells herself things will get better just hold on
She tells herself things will never be different why should I stay
She tells herself in time things will fix and it'll all be okay
She fights herself for he never fights for her to stick around
She fell for him and he just let her hit the ground
She fights for him but he cant ever understand
She Needs a friend not just a man!
Welcome to the mind of mo
wut to say wut to say...
well 1st off welcome to my blog I've never had one but always wanted one,as soon as i figure this out im sure my blogs will begin to get alot more entertaining...lol!1st i think ima post all my poems then feel free to welcome yourself to my(mo's) mind...=>
well 1st off welcome to my blog I've never had one but always wanted one,as soon as i figure this out im sure my blogs will begin to get alot more entertaining...lol!1st i think ima post all my poems then feel free to welcome yourself to my(mo's) mind...=>
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